Civil wedding readings - Tin Wedding Whistle by Ogden Nash

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Though you know it anyhow

Listen to me, darling, now,
Proving what I need not prove

How I know I love you, love.
Near and far, near and far,

I am happy where you are;
Likewise I have never larnt

How to be it where you aren't.
Far and wide, far and wide,

I can walk with you beside;
Furthermore, I tell you what,

I sit and sulk where you are not.
Visitors remark my frown

Where you're upstairs and I am down,
Yes, and I'm afraid I pout

When I'm indoors and you are out;
But how contentedly I view

Any room containing you.
In fact I care not where you be,

Just as long as it's with me.
In all your absences I glimpse

Fire and flood and trolls and imps.
Is your train a minute slothful?

I goad the stationmaster wrothful.
When with friends to bridge you drive

I never know if you're alive,
And when you linger late in shops

I long to telephone the cops.
Yet how worth the waiting for,

To see you coming through the door.
Somehow, I can be complacent

Never but with you adjacent.
Near and far, near and far,

I am happy where you are;
Likewise I have never larnt

How to be it where you aren't.
Then grudge me not my fond endeavor,

To hold you in my sight forever;
Let none, not even you, disparage

Such valid reason for a marriage.

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