Civil wedding readings - Tin Wedding Whistle by Ogden Nash

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Though you know it anyhow 
Listen to me, darling, now,
Proving what I need not prove 
How I know I love you, love.
Near and far, near and far, 
I am happy where you are;
Likewise I have never larnt 
How to be it where you aren't.
Far and wide, far and wide, 
I can walk with you beside;
Furthermore, I tell you what, 
I sit and sulk where you are not.
Visitors remark my frown 
Where you're upstairs and I am down,
Yes, and I'm afraid I pout 
When I'm indoors and you are out;
But how contentedly I view 
Any room containing you.
In fact I care not where you be, 
Just as long as it's with me.
In all your absences I glimpse 
Fire and flood and trolls and imps.
Is your train a minute slothful? 
I goad the stationmaster wrothful.
When with friends to bridge you drive 
I never know if you're alive,
And when you linger late in shops 
I long to telephone the cops.
Yet how worth the waiting for, 
To see you coming through the door.
Somehow, I can be complacent 
Never but with you adjacent.
Near and far, near and far, 
I am happy where you are;
Likewise I have never larnt 
How to be it where you aren't.
Then grudge me not my fond endeavor, 
To hold you in my sight forever;
Let none, not even you, disparage 
Such valid reason for a marriage.